At the beginning of each new year, instead of setting some senseless resolution, I choose a new intention for myself. An intention to guide me toward more of what I want.
This year, my intention, my guiding principle, my theme, my motto is Choose Love.
It might sound sappy or cheesy or rather naive, but I’m not talking about greeting card, Hollywood or romance-novel love.
I’m talking the real deal.
I’m talking about thinking with love, feeling with love, and acting with love. I’m talking about a love infusion that simplifies, frees, and inspires. I’m talking about channeling love. I’m talking about being love.
Love is not just a feeling.
Love is a conscious thought.
Love is an action.
Choosing Love starts not always in the heart, but often in the mind.
When I’m unsure what to do. When I want to yell and scream in frustration. When I feel small and scared. When my family is getting on my nerves. When I feel powerless. When I want to eat a package of Oreos. When I’m overwhelmed. When I’m underwhelmed. When the remote is in someone else’s hands. When I’m in pain. When things seem much harder than they should be. When nothing seems to be going my way. When my faith wavers. When it’s time to make dinner. When I hit every red light, end up behind every slow-moving vehicle, choose the slowest line at the grocery store. When my wi-fi goes out. When I don’t have as many clients as I’d like. When I struggle with writing. When my puppies eat my $90 laptop charger. When my husband is angry at me. When I feel lonely and need a friend. When I disconnect from myself.
Instead of reacting, I consciously Choose Love by asking:
What Would Love Do?
I don’t claim to be a saint, a therapist, or a love guru. (Actually, that love guru thing sounds kind of fun…)
But through my experiences coaching myself, coaching others, talking about it, reading and writing about it, I have unearthed some truths about love. I choose to live these truths as the basis for my answers to my question: WWLD?
Love starts with self.
It means loving yourself as you are.
It means doing so is not only okay, but required.
It means knowing you are enough.
It is forgiveness for your imperfections, mistakes, failures.
It is acceptance of what is.
It requires nothing from anyone else.
It expects nothing in return.
It is given of you, by you and for you.
Love gives.
Permission to be who you are.
Permission to learn, dream, and explore.
Permission to ask for help.
Permission to break the rules that bind.
Permission to make the choices that are right for you.
Permission to see things for what they are.
Permission for dreams to take time.
Permission to live your life for you.
Love lets go.
Of what isn’t working.
Of the idea that you need to be perfect.
Of the idea that others need to be perfect.
Of the idea that life needs to be perfect.
Of the idea that something needs to happen to feel okay or be okay.
Of the need for others to feel, act or respond in a certain way.
Of the desire for others to be other than they are.
Of the idea that you can make others love you.
Of the idea that you need to or can change others.
Of others’ opinions and judgments of you as anything other than information that reflects on them.
Love sets boundaries.
That honor you.
That honor your preferences, strengths, and values.
That honor your time.
That create space for you.
That inform others of your choices regardless of what they do.
That teach others what is acceptable to you.
Love doesn’t…
Need.
Feel desperate or clingy.
Punish.
Feel like guilt.
Fear.
Hold a grudge.
Hurt.
Insist what’s right for someone else.
Worry.
Judge.
Need anyone else’s opinion.
Care about being right.
Instead…
Love leads.
Love inspires.
Love accepts.
Love grows.
Love allows.
Love heals.
Love creates.
Love flows.
Love teaches.
Love forgives.
Love acts.
Love chooses.
Love is a conscious choice.
Love is a conscious choice that you can make anytime.
Simply by asking, WWLD?
What are you choosing this new year? What truths will you choose to live by?