Confession #1: My hair is a fabulous teacher.
Most women I know are a little fanatical about their hair. My most recent stylist told me it’s because our hair is our crowning glory. She then proceeded to chop off at least 4 inches giving me a bob instead of taking off the one inch we had discussed.
At first the length didn’t give me pause to notice. Instead I was fixated on the fact that the haircut had not helped the few strands in front that have decided to revert from their curly nature to go straight. Those locks are now going their own way and standing out from the crowd creating quite a contrast from the rest of my hair.
When I got home later that day and looked at my hair again, I was appalled by how short it is. Let me just say, the bob is not for me. For a good day and a half I was miserable. Every time I looked in the mirror I was shocked. I felt really crappy because I just could not believe how short it is. This, by the way, is me arguing with reality. “When I argue with reality I lose – but only 100% of the time.” Byron Katie (www.thework.com)
That’s when I remembered a conversation that I recently had with friend and fantabulous fellow coach, Patty Lennon (www.pattylennon.com). Patty was telling me that she loves it when things are bothering her because it helps her get clearer on what she wants. I was floored and something in me went, “Ohhhhhh…” (Insert light bulb here, please.)
Having what we don’t want is the perfect way to figure out what we do want. And once we figure out what we do want, it is so much easier to get it. Its like trying to go on vacation without a destination. How are you gonna get there if you don’t know where you are headed? Sure you might figure it out eventually, but if you are ready for it now, you will get there a lot quicker if you know your destination.
Now I know that a whole lot of value in life comes from the journey, not in reaching the destination, but figuring out what you want is part of the journey. Learning what you don’t want is just taking a shortcut to learning what you do want.
So what have I learned from my hair this week? Lesson number one is that there is value in not getting what I want. Now that I know what I definitely do not want, I can begin to fashion an idea of what I do want. So I’m changing my attitude by changing the way I think about it. Bad haircuts? There’s no such thing. Now that’s what I call my crowning glory.